lost passport.

I lost my passport the night before my flight to London.

I have one file that I always keep it in. It's always been there. It's a special file in my filing cabinet that says, "Important." My social secuirty card, health insurance, SAT scores and passport all cuddle closely within protective casing.

But last night, just minutes before I was planning to leave for the first leg of my trip to Europe, I pull out my files and it's gone.

Hmm... I think. I must have missed it, and search through the file again. Perhaps I put it in a different pile? nope. Perhaps the last time I had it out it slipped off my bed? nope. Perhaps last time I took a shower I thought it might be nice to have my passport with me? nope.

I looked literally everywhere in my house. I opened each book. Went through each pocket. Every single bag. I did not sleep last night because I was looking. praying. crying.

Sometime this morning I conceded that it was truly gone. Evaporated from time and space into an abyss of nothingness -- my passport is just gone. I canelled my flight. Wiped my eyes. And now plan to spend the rest of the day moping around and feeling genuinely sorry for myself.

As a person who NEVER loses things -- especially important documents -- I don't understand how people can live like this.

Whenever I do lose things, I always wish I had one of those "missing key" alarms where I could just press a button and the missing item will start lighting up and making noise. I think I'll install a few of those on all of my most important things soon.

I feel nauseated. I really think my heart is broken over having to miss this trip.

Guess I'll have to reschedule for March.