questioning cadence.

Only a few days in and I am already feeling myself become part of the ebb and flow of the city. Swipe card. Step down. Step down. Step down. Turn left. Doors open. Step in. Grab bar. Wisp clatter. Train rattles. Breaks squeal. Doors open. Step out. Turn left. Turn right. Step up. Step up. Step up. Swipe card. Fresh air. There is an underlying cadence to just about everything. From flutter of the British accent to the gentle rumble of the underground.

The first few days -- I was awkward. Unsure of my surroundings, I felt like a baby calf wobbling on long feeble legs. But given four days to grow and learn, I have come very far. I actually think that at some point I will feel a part of this place that amazes me so much.

However, the more I become part of this place, the more I am forced to think about who I am. I have to decide what parts of my identity are mine, and what is just something that comes along with living in America. The more I assimilate to British culture, the more I wonder if I should. Perhaps being here isn't about fitting in. But rather about being willing to stand out.


Peeling a person apart from their culture can have two results...

1. The culture is so much a part of that person that they are empty and lifeless without it.
2. By stripping away ones culture, you are allowing the true, undefined self to thrive.

In hope and fear of these two options, I am being careful with myself as I make this transition. Facing the gap between culture and self isn't particularly easy -- like removing a hat without knowing if your hair has managed to keep its shape, or has gone awry. I'm only hoping that my scenario turns out more like number two, and not at all like option one. Will my hair look good without the trusty cap?