lost passport.

I lost my passport the night before my flight to London.

I have one file that I always keep it in. It's always been there. It's a special file in my filing cabinet that says, "Important." My social secuirty card, health insurance, SAT scores and passport all cuddle closely within protective casing.

But last night, just minutes before I was planning to leave for the first leg of my trip to Europe, I pull out my files and it's gone.

Hmm... I think. I must have missed it, and search through the file again. Perhaps I put it in a different pile? nope. Perhaps the last time I had it out it slipped off my bed? nope. Perhaps last time I took a shower I thought it might be nice to have my passport with me? nope.

I looked literally everywhere in my house. I opened each book. Went through each pocket. Every single bag. I did not sleep last night because I was looking. praying. crying.

Sometime this morning I conceded that it was truly gone. Evaporated from time and space into an abyss of nothingness -- my passport is just gone. I canelled my flight. Wiped my eyes. And now plan to spend the rest of the day moping around and feeling genuinely sorry for myself.

As a person who NEVER loses things -- especially important documents -- I don't understand how people can live like this.

Whenever I do lose things, I always wish I had one of those "missing key" alarms where I could just press a button and the missing item will start lighting up and making noise. I think I'll install a few of those on all of my most important things soon.

I feel nauseated. I really think my heart is broken over having to miss this trip.

Guess I'll have to reschedule for March.

i want cake.

So I've been on this diet.

I know, I know. Diets are miserable, detestable, awful things. But, I've decided that I cannot simply work out and be slim. I must do this thing that I like to call torture.

Instead of reaching for juice, I grab water. Instead of sandwich, I choose salad. Instead of chocolate cake, frozen grapes. It's all really fun and games, let me tell you.

Basically I'm starving.

article: myrtle beach

A commentary piece for The Pendulum after the Democratic debates.

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. – The stakes are high in South Carolina for the Democratic Presidential candidates who are jockeying to win the support of 54 delegates when the state holds its Democratic primary this Saturday. Events surrounding the Martin Luther King holiday set an appropriate stage to frame one of the issues at the core of capturing South Carolina – race. Over half of Democratic voters in the state are black and each candidate has been on the move to woo black voters during the past few weeks.

Hillary Clinton

A narrow win in Nevada puts Clinton on the upswing as she heads into South Carolina, but her diminished support among the black voters could throw a wrench into her plans. To add insult to injury, Bill Clinton’s recent criticism of Obama has attracted negative attention from party loyalists who are more concerned about getting a Democrat in office than which candidate they get in office. And there’s more bad news from Clinton. An opinion poll released by CNN/Opinion Research Corp. showed that Americans would be more supportive of a black president than a female president – not great news for those who are focused on who can win a general election.

The light in the Clinton campaign is that she still leads in national polls. Her marriage to former President Bill Clinton may help her with the black vote in South Carolina, but she is currently projected to come in second. During the debate on Monday Clinton was debating for votes in Florida and on ‘Super Tuesday,’ as opposed to South Carolina. Her time was spent mostly on the offense, attacking Obama on nearly every issue that was brought up.

Clinton targeted the partisan voters by taking several jabs at President George W. Bush. She also sold her experience in politics saying that she’s been taking fire from Republicans for 16 years, and is the most equipped to go head to head with a Republican candidate – namely John McCain. But will her polarizing nature cause Democrats to jump ship and vote Republican? Some wonder.

John Edwards

John Edwards is a South Carolina native who was able to take the state with 45 percent of the primary vote when he first ran for President in 2004. A win this Saturday could put Edwards back up with Clinton and Obama, but a loss will almost certainly signal the beginning of end of his campaign. He’s said he’ll stay in through Convention in August – but really, what else does he have to do?

Edwards was more or less an afterthought when pitted against the flame throwing between Obama and Clinton at the CNN debate. When he would inject on occasion it was genuinely a breath of fresh air from the negativity that bogged the other two. He even asked “Are there three people in this debate, not two?” His attempts to engage Clinton and Obama often only added fuel to the fire between the other two and left him out in the cold, out of the camera’s view and, possibly, out of the minds of the voters.

Then again, his ability to remove himself from the arguing could pay off for voters who are turned off by the animosity between Clinton and Obama. Edwards language was clearly orchestrated to attract the partisan voters, the most likely primary voters. His language was also genuinely positive. When he did talk negative, he was almost gentle, qualifying his responses to soften the blow.

Pundits have already started arguing about who would benefit if Edwards dropped out of the race. Some say that the Democratic party is split into two camps – those for Clinton and those against Clinton – and that Obama would take Edwards supporters. Others suggest that Edwards supporters may would Truly, it’s probably a crap-shoot. But for now, Edwards is in and fighting. A strong showing in South Carolina could propel him back into the limelight.

Barack Obama

Obama has gone far to rally the support of black South Carolinians, expending a lot of energy and money in the palmetto state. Though initially Clinton captured the black vote, recent polls have shown that Obama’s strong showing in Iowa proved his chances to win with white America. This has bolstered his support among black voters who now have faith he can win. Recent polls released by the CNN/Opinion Research Corp. show that 60 percent of South Carolinian black voters plan to vote for Obama, with 31 percent supporting Clinton.

The bad news for Obama is that he hasn’t won a primary since Iowa. Winning South Carolina is important for him to keep up with Clinton who may have the upper hand in delegate heavy Florida. He has also made no secret of his desire to reach out to Republican voters, a move that is expected during the general election but can be risky during the primaries. His praise of Republican darling-child Ronald Reagan was heavily criticized during the debate by Clinton.

Obama’s showing at the debate was a tango of attack and defense with Clinton. Through all the arguing it was hard to hear any new ideas. Instead it was a rehashing of what we’ve heard time and time again. However, his ability to defend himself was unlike we’ve seen in any debate before which may have been exactly what the voters wanted to hear. The audience was clearly behind Obama, laughing at his quips at Clinton and exploding in applause after his bolder statements.

iowa-who.

Rarely is it the case that one of the most exciting events of the year comes 3 days after New Years Eve. A state that Americans pay little attention to for four years becomes the center of the news cycle as the politically minded watch to see how 200,000 cattle farmers in Iowa will play one of the biggest roles in choosing the next American president. It's a night like Halloween or Christmas -- where an underlying electric current rides through the air.

As of 10:21 in Iowa:

Obama - 37%
Edwards - 30%
Clinton - 29%

Huckabee - 34%
Romney - 25%
Thompson - 14%
McCain - 13%
Paul - 10%

I am absolutely amazed.

Clinton, who has long been the white horse in the eyes of bloggers and newspapers, stumbles. Analysts say that it is because of the high voter turn-out which likely indicated more younger voters (aka, more Obama and Edwards supporters.)

Edwards, who is one of the most powerful Democratic speakers and who has thrown A LOT of resources into Iowa, shines. Second place looks good. But critics wonder if he can turn the votes out in New Hampshire and South Carolina, where he hasn't been working as hard.

Obama, who has been perceived as neck and neck with Clinton, TAKES. THE. CAKE. He surprised many by winning a collection of three counties in Western Iowa where the black population is practically nil.

Huckabee seemed to come out of nowhere to have done so well. I suppose it’s no surprise that appealing to the party base paid off. McCain, take note!

Giuliani, who I thought would at least turn some sort of support in Iowa had ... none. I guess campaigning really is the make or break to most voters. Political scientists everywhere rejoice at a solidified job security.

49 more states to go. This is going to be an awesome spring.

editor meets sunrise.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night in a panic. As the newly appointed editor-in-chief for The Pendulum I have spent the past week making plans for the paper ... developing my vision. I want a better Web site, a more dedicated staff, a better set of reporters, a better sense of ownership among all, to add eight pages to our print product, daily online updates, to start incorporating video and audio elements, to cover more local, state and national news, intramural sports, movie times, editorial cartooning.

Whew!

But for some reason around 5 a.m. last night I stirred in my sleep. What if all my ideas and dreams for what the paper can be don't work out? What if my selected staff members aren't as enthusiastic and dedicated as I am? What if I spend my entire year as editor disappointing myself and others?

I stayed awake, staring at my ceiling until my alarm went off around 7:30.

At that point I gave up entirely on falling back asleep and began my morning routine of e-mail checking and teeth brushing. (In that order usually. I quite obviously put communication before my own hygienic care.) Clicking through my favorite news Web sites gave me an update on all the latest from our gaggle of presidential hopefuls. As I skimmed through Mitt Romney's speech about religion I realized that my situation could always be worse. I could be a newly appointed president.

If I'm stressed about letting people down as a newspaper editor, I can't fathom the weight of the world on our president. Clearly, all these people must be clinically insane.

return call.

Eight months is as long as I'll make it

From the time I left London in May to when I plan to return for my first visit in January. It's amazing to me that eight months has lapsed when I already feel years away from all that I experienced there. I am eager to return and see old aquaintences -- who really, in the context of time, can hardly be called old friends at all. A year ago, I didn't even know them.

Yet somehow I feel like my $500 flight has afforded me a trip into my past. I dream of the familiar smells of the Warwick Avenue tube stop and the hussle bussle of black-clad parliamentarians around Westminster. For the little time I spent there, and for how shortly ago it was, I feel oddly like I'm going back to high school ... a place where I spent years of my life, a long long time ago ... or again, so it seems.

My time in the UK was a whirlwind experience. Removed from my culture and friends I was a different person. Part of me is worried that when I go back, everything will have changed. Part of me is worried that when I go back, everything will still be the same.

I suppose it will just be best to go into my return trip without any expectations. I'll just soak it up as another experience to add to the dusty collection on my internal London shelf. Something to sit among the ticket stubs to Cabaret and stolen Guiness pint glasses from the pub, which I've since lost -- but miss dearly.

article: boys and academia.

Below is a story set to appear in The Pendulum on Dec. 5th. It was a fun piece to write, very interesting. It's more of an example of magazine writing I suppose. Kind of Time-esque. Sorry for the short commentary but it's exam time here at Elon. Expect more posts later this month!

The Male Crisis in Academia

Take a look at any elementary school classroom and you are bound to see numbers.

Not just the numbers that hang on the wall, displaying the nuances of multiplication and long division, but also the invisible numbers that label each child. Standardized test have flooded the education system with data that shadows a student from their entry in kindergarten through their high school graduation.

Mostly, the numbers tell positive stories of achievement and growth. But one pattern is stressing educators at all levels – the boys are falling behind. At nearly every benchmark between elementary and high school, males are losing ground to their female peers.

It starts as early as elementary school, when boys are twice as likely to be diagnosed with a learning disability. End of grade testing also doesn’t bode well for boys – who are nationally more likely to fail a standardized test.

“We have seen boys in particular have a disconnect with school,” said Christopher Poston, assistant principal at Elon Elementary School. “I’d say some is behavioral and some is academic.”

Fifth grade reading test scores from Elon Elementary reveal that one out of ten boys failed to meet reading proficiency. The girls overall faired better, with fewer than one out of twenty falling short in reading.

The math scores, where males have traditionally scored better, also reveal that females are scoring higher, though the difference is much smaller.

Poston joins many educators studying whether biological factors account for the differences between the genders. “Females are more ritualistically compliant to sit down and read. Males don’t have that ritualistic compliant piece,” he said. “They question why they have to read this book. They are pushing against the grain a little bit more.”

Male resistance may be linked to a curriculum built to please feminine tastes. Required reading books like “Where the Red Fern Grows” and “Shiloh” appeal to young girls, but leave the boys less interested.

“Let’s start them reading by getting them to read an NBA magazine,” Poston suggested. “We give them such a narrow playing field [with the required reading books.] We need to make sure we capture their interests.”

The Male-Female Divide in College Admissions
Once boys begin to lag behind in elementary school, the trend continues through high school graduation, and even into college.

Some of the most striking evidence can be found on college campuses everywhere. After a century of male dominated college attendance rates, females have now moved into the majority, making up 56 percent of college attendees. Elon’s 60-40 female-male distribution is an echo of what is facing universities all across America.

“There’s been a lot of talk about this issue through admissions circles,” said Vice President of Admissions Susan Klopman. “But nobody has a very good explanation of why.” Klopman suggested that a shift in how men are portrayed in the media may be part of the reason.

“We’re sending messages that devalue intellectual endeavors,” said Klopman. She cited advertising that features “macho, dumb men” stereotypes and “stupid humor,” as examples.

The entire college application process, it turns out, may be another reason that fewer men are showing up in the classroom. Many colleges will not send admissions information to students unless the student contacts the school first – a move that women might be more comfortable making, Klopman said.

“It takes time, thought and planning to apply to a college,” she said. “When it comes to planning a campus visit or sitting in on a college class, men just don’t have the emotional investment in a college that women do.”

Bringing Males to College Classrooms
There is one place, however, where males have consistently outshined females – on the SAT Reasoning Test. Take for example the CollegeBoard data for the senior class of 2007. The average critical reading score for males was 504, while the average female scored 502. The math scores are further stratified, with men averaging 533 and women 499.

While the men of the class of 2007 outscored the women on the SAT, they recorded a significantly lower grade point average, with women receiving an average of 3.40 over the male 3.24.

With this in mind, Towson University launched a program in 2005 aimed at accepting applicants who had high SAT scores but lower grades. Like Elon, Towson was struggling with a 40 percent male student body, and hoped the new program would bolster the number of males on campus.

They accepted students who had GPAs around 2.8, but who held SAT scores about 100 points higher than the average Towson student.

Initially the program appeared a success; many more male students were enrolling at Towson than before. But before long, problems began to emerge. A large number of students admitted through this program either left the college or dropped out.

“The bottom line is, our retention rate in the program is not as high as our overall freshmen retention rate," Deborah Leather, Towson associate provost, told the Baltimore Sun. “Basically, we are proving what has already been known, which is that grade point average is a better predictor of student success than SAT scores."

Towson scrapped the program in 2007.

Other colleges, including Elon, are using gender-specific marketing to attract more male attendants. For example, instead of the full admissions letter that Klopman might write to a female applicant, she tries to limit her letters to men to 10 short sentences.

Elon has also taken steps to make campus more guy-friendly. The club sport fields were built to encourage a stronger club sports program, something that male applicant’s value. Varsity Grille was given a sports theme for the same reason.

“We’re trying to pay attention to our male students,” said Klopman.

Finding Broader Solutions
Getting males interested in school again may be the first step to fixing the disparity between males and females, but others are calling for more. Michael Thompson, co-author of “Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys” suggested shifting the cultural expectations of how boys should act.

“Girl behavior becomes the gold standard,” Thompson writes. “Boys are being treated like defective girls.”

As schools cut recess time and toughen academic requirements, Thompson worries that boys might be left behind entirely.

“Because of their higher activity level, boys are likely to get into more trouble than girls,” Thompson told PBS. “And they are not given enough opportunities to move around — both in actual physical activity and in how they learn — because they spend too much time sitting and not enough time learning by doing, making and building things.”

Many educators are calling on schools to adopt curriculums that will help boys learn in a way that is more conducive to how they are genetically built. More physical activities, boy-friendly books and a new approach to discipline may be the beginning of the solution.

Klopman, Thompson and Poston all agree that bringing boys to equal footing with girls will need to be a culture-wide shift in expectation. Until then, the numbers might continue to tell the grim tale of how educators are losing the battle with boys.